Guest post: Singing the BFA Blues (or, learning to adult and act, year one), by Caroline Aimetti

Note: this piece was originally written in November, 2015.

By Caroline Aimetti

Last weekend, I officially became old. I was at a family gathering, and was being told  by a cousin that all her eight year old talked about was becoming an actress and moving to New York City “just like Caroline.” I think I actually grumbled a little, and then replied, “tell her no.”

If you had told me last November, as I finished up my last few weeks as an undergrad at NYU Tisch, that I would be sounding like a cynical old biddy in just one year’s time, I probably would have run screaming in the other direction, assuming that some terrible disaster was going to befall me during my first year out in the business.  But, as I approach my one year in the real world-iversary, I can confirm that none has occurred. I’m puttering away, trying to establish myself in the New York industry. And I promised myself that no matter how tough things got, I would never become a jaded dream crusher, warning aspiring artists to turn back while they still can. I heard it too often growing up. So who was this grinch I was becoming, telling peppy little eight year-olds not to follow their dreams? Let me explain.

I knew early on that this career would not necessarily treat me kindly. Perhaps because my plan to pursue it has been in place basically since I was ten years old, giving me enough time to hear words of discouragement from anyone who could get my ear.

Remember in the movie A Christmas Story, every time Ralphie tells someone he wants a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas and they reply with “You’ll shoot your eye out”? That’s what it is like growing up wanting to be an actor. You get a lot of “You’ll starve” or “99% of actors are unemployed at any given time.” But like Ralphie, I wanted what I wanted.

1391590_10202349080788056_1238317415_n

I bought a book called Making It On Broadway, anecdotes from Broadway actors about everything from survival jobs to winning the Tony. Some of those stories were not pretty, but surprisingly none of them deterred me at all. In fact, I felt very grateful to have received some sort of forewarning of what was to come. That book taught me that sometimes you have to live in closet-sized apartments with mice (check), wait tables (check), and sit for hours at an open call just to not get seen (CHECK).

 

I figured by the time I had my BFA, the world at large would give it a rest with all the messages of gloom and doom. But at least twice a week someone reminds me that the majority of artists who move to New York City to act quit within the first two years, or that I can still go back to school for my Masters in Practical Career X. A man interviewing me for a survival job last week (a miserable human being) felt like he had the responsibility to remind me I had chosen a silly career.

 

But I have survived year one! One more to go before my dreams fall apart, eh? After one year pursuing this career, I see in a deeper way than I could have imagined why people quit. When I was in high school, and even college, I am ashamed to say I quietly judged those who gave it a try and then gave it up. “They must not have wanted it bad enough,” I would think. But now I see that pursuing what you love most in the world means putting your pride, heart, and happiness on the line every single day. Being an actor makes you even more vulnerable- you are selling yourself, and you are doing so in a society that believes art is not necessary, and even that artists do not need to be compensated for their work. That, sadly, can equal not making your rent. Some decide that spending a life giving up day-to-day security and happiness for the small chance of a big “someday” happiness is not worth it. And I understand them completely.

image_1

As any fresh graduate will tell you, the real world can be a bit of an abyss. But what is difficult to learn as a young person with an acting degree is that the post-grad timeline simply does not apply to you. I got hit by this, hard, as I watched friends land paid internships, get into law school, and even get six figure positions within months of graduating, while I continued to nanny in Brooklyn and attend open calls, just as I had been doing before I had my degree.

 

I could go on about the injustice of it all, and sometimes my actor friends and I get together and cannot help but do so- “We graduated top of our class and went to one of the country’s top private universities to work retail and not get to go home for Thanksgiving?!” But I have found dwelling on those passing feelings of self-pity only drags me down, and fast. Which brings me to the very first bullet point of

 

Caroline’s “What I Learned My First Year as a Working Actor” List!
 
  • Stop Complaining. Yes, I vent to my mom and boyfriend and actor friends when I need to, but I discovered that in the larger world there is no sympathy for someone who chooses a career in the arts. So as much as it does not seem right at times that someone with a college degree should be made to feel their work is not work at all but frivolity, at the end of the day the cranks of the world are right: I chose this. So now I need to put up or shut up.
  • It’s All About That Survival Job. As Meghan Trainor tells us it is “All About That Bass,” I tell you your side job will make or break you. Although I am still figuring this one out myself (I am not making enough money from nannying alone), I find that it must at least fit this criteria: be flexible for auditions (or be a night job); pay you enough so that your rent is half your income (in other cities it would be a quarter, but damn you New York City!); not exhaust you physically or vocally (or those early morning auditions will not happen and suddenly you will not be an auditioning actor anymore); not suck your soul away (this one is tough). Though survival jobs are not known to be pleasant, I have found that a soul-sucking job is the reason why actors leave the business almost every time. This is because unlike most professions, your soul needs to be intact for you to do your work. Which brings me to my next point:
  •  Super Soul Saturday Needs to Be Everyday. Oprah was onto something- our souls need recharging. As actors, our souls are flying out in the wind every time we act, so they need some extra TLC. The winter after I graduated was brutal- dark, snowy, and lonely. I started feeling not quite like myself. I was crying a lot, and I had a hard time making to-do lists or getting up for auditions. I went from acting non-stop in college to not acting at all. The thing is, most careers allow you to compartmentalize your feelings to get the job done. If you are an actor and try that route, you will suck the life and humanity out of your acting- I found out the hard way. So on top of feeling low, I was not feeling good about my work. That can make things seem very dark. The day I called my therapist for the first time, I had tears streaming down my face. I see now that I should not have let it get that bad- we need to give ourselves as much of a fighting chance in this business as possible, and that means acknowledging that this career can bring lows. Society often regards self-care like therapy as indulgent; but an actor needs self-care (in whatever form works) simply to get the job done.

image_3

  • It Is a World of Catch-22s. You can’t get an agent without being in something, but it is much harder to be in something without an agent; you cannot get appointments for Equity auditions without getting your Equity card from an Equity show, but you cannot get into an Equity show without being seen at an Equity audition. This stuff can drive you crazy. The way to get around it is think outside the box, and find loopholes. I take classes with agents and casting directors so they can see me work (but another catch-22 is that these classes cost money, which means you must work, but these classes are held at night when you would potentially bartend or wait tables, but I digress). I also solved the Equity puzzle by stage managing for a show I did not get cast in- yes, you can get your card that way! I am trying to get used to the fact that what matters is that you meet your goals, not that the way you meet them is conventional. (Plus a fun fact: Equity stage managers are paid more per week than Equity actors AND I have a new, money-making skill!)
  • It Is All Random. This lesson scared me at first. It worried me that those who work hard and do everything “right” do not always meet with success first. But then I began to see that when a fellow actor gets a role, that was the one meant for them, not me. “Compare and despair” as one of my professors said. But then I began to see that opportunities that at first seem to have little value often lead to great things. I co-founded a theatre company with my boyfriend because we love Shakespeare, nothing more. But the director who directed our first production hired me for the stage managing gig that lead to my Equity card! I suppose You Never Know  and Jealousy Is Useless could also be part of this lesson.
  • Here Today, Gone Tomorrow. Most actors do not celebrate getting a role until they are at the first rehearsal, script in hand. That is because acting jobs can fall through at any moment. A project I was cast in lost its funding; I had a friend get her role re-cast with a bigger “name.” But the craziest part about acting is that even something exciting like a guest spot on a TV show is temporary. All of our work is temp work. So no matter how big a role or production, once the shoot or run is over, it is on to the next, and that next thing is never guaranteed (another reason why Jealousy is Useless).
  • Let It Give You Life, Do Not Give It Your Life. Let me explain this one. I always thought that the noble calling of being an artist meant walking around with a bleeding heart, putting off personal pursuits for artistic ones. I always told my grandma I wasn’t getting married until I was 50 because I needed to focus on my career. But it is things like the recent attacks on Paris that make you realize without family, friends, travel, love, etc., life is useless. Acting fills my soul with purpose and joy more than anything (besides the people I love). But that does not mean I need to hand over my sanity, my health, and enjoyment of everything else the world has to offer. It can be hard, because this business puts an imaginary timeline on your shoulders that makes you feel guilty every moment the business is not occupying your thoughts. One of my professors would say “Relax, you’re playing make believe for a living.” But I am somewhere in between, because I know what art can do for people and what it has done for me. Another professor reminded us every class that in ancient Greece actors were treated like warriors and sages. There is a purpose to what I do that is noble. But I do not need to let that weight crush everything else.
 12011121_10207622416938164_2891699866418740922_n
I have learned so much this year. I could go on about little tidbit lessons like go for the dream audition no matter how big, make yourself a team of people who will have your back, and BE PATIENT (I should get that tattooed on my forehead, I forget it so often). I am learning to be happy without getting up onstage everyday, and let me tell you it is hard.

But what I have surprisingly made peace with very quickly is that this is my journey. It is filled with a lot of disappointments, lots of money spent (someone tell me why headshots cost more than two weeks of groceries?), but also moments of great joy as I get my business off the ground. And though I have amazing support, ultimately it is my doing. I am proud of that. So no matter what anyone has to say about it at the Thanksgiving table this year, I am finding peace.

 “If you practice an art, be proud of it and make it proud of you. It may break your heart….but it will fill your heart before it breaks it; it will make you a person in your own right.”
-Maxwell Anderson

 


Caroline Aimetti is a graduate of NYU Tisch School of the Arts. She has trained at the Atlantic Acting School, Stonestreet Studios, and The Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in London. She is a proud member of Actors’ Equity and a lover of coffee, Disney, and all things food. She lives in Harlem with her boyfriend and cat. This is her first contribution to Theaterific.

Interview: Actor and playwright Scott Watson

The appeal for me in this job is that every day is different.
– Scott Watson

Scott Watson is a New York-based playwright and actor of stage and film. He just finished up a run as Grumio in the New York Classical Theatre production of Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. In the following interview, he discusses his thoughts on Shakespeare, life as a working actor, and the importance of social media. 

  • THEATERIFIC: Let’s start off easy. How did you get into acting? What was your first experience and when did you get the “bug”?

SCOTT WATSON: It was 1993.  My father, Dr. Watson the Entomologist, transported our family from the ho-hum town of Reed City, Michigan (population one thousand eight hundred and two) to Gaborone, Botswana on Fulbright.

Private British school. Westwood. Uniforms. Sweaters in the desert heat. Headmaster’s dusty cane, just-in-case. Feeding giraffes in Kenya. Nelson Mandela’s election in South Africa. Petting a wildebeest. Losing first tooth on safari in Chobe. Schoolyard fight against pugnacious, Italian Vito and his Zimbabwean crony Dembe. Bird watching. Lilac-breasted roller. School play. Lead roll. Three Billy Goats Gruff. Taking the stage as the Big Billy Goat. Defeating the Troll.

Surrounded by the United Nation of children dressed as goats and bridge dwellers, I found acting in Africa. I looked into the cavernous blackness that always hangs above the audience’s heads and found an endless comfort, a beautiful void to fill.

  • How did you transition into acting professionally?

I moved to NYC three months after graduating college with $39 dollars in my pocket and my first month’s rent paid. It was a heady mix, that giddy first-love feeling that everyone gets when they touch down in the city mixed with the harsh reality that I barely had enough money to eat. A bag of rice and beans goes a long way. Luckily, I was able to land a job within my first two weeks here and carved out the needed stability to start pursuing acting.

There are some amazing insights in the book An Actor Prepares to Live in New York City: How to Live Like a Star Before You Become One by Craig Wroe that will be invaluable to anyone looking to move to the Big Apple to pursue acting. Unsexy stuff like budgets, union jargon, and job boards that really make up the day-to-day of an actor’s life.

You have to view acting as a business to work professionally, so you calculate your start-up costs (headshots, website, reel, etc) knock those out and start submitting. The top platforms for self-submission are Actors Access, Backstage, Playbill and Casting Networks. Most of these charge a monthly or yearly fee for their services, but it’ll pay for itself once you book your first gig.

I started working professionally one gig at a time, all through self-submissions by the four websites listed above.

  • According to your resume, you’ve performed in 13 Shakespeare productions. What is it about Shakespeare’s work that keeps drawing you back as an actor?

Shakespeare is an accidental focus. There’s a wonderful Shakespeare festival where I attended college called the Grand Valley Shakespeare Festival that allowed me to appear in a Shakespeare show every year. I also began working with a professional touring company called Pigeon Creek Shakespeare based upon my growing Shakespeare credits from college. My resume became Shakespeare centric, so when I moved to NYC I naturally gravitated towards Shakespeare productions, of which there are many, because Shakespeare has been dead for 400 years and you don’t have to pay royalties on his works.

Some of Shakespeare’s plays are a mess, some are masterpieces, but there’s an undeniable beauty in mounting the stage and putting on the mantle of a character that’s been played countless times before over the past 400 years. How many Hamlets have there been? How many Richard III’s ? But each actor, each individual, brings something new to each part. You forget about the arcane nature of the language quickly and instead focus on the larger than life, fantastic stories and relationships that have made the plays timeless. I keep coming back because there’s always a new angle, a fresh take on any part and any play in Shakespeare’s canon.

  • You have over 30,000 Twitter followers. How important is a social media presence to an actor’s career? How has it helped yours?

As an actor, you are your own business, and social media is the single most cost-effective way of marketing yourself. Twitter is my platform of choice, as it’s very easy to reach out with a quick electronic handshake and meet new people. Just saw an influential casting director? Save the postcard and send them a thank you tweet. In a world dictated by bankability and brand power, you have to build a brand name for yourself, and there’s no better place to do that then on social media.

  • I assume that acting is your primary job. Describe a typical day in your working life.

I try to have at least three or four auditions per week. Every weekday is a flurry of submissions to projects across the four platforms I mentioned. If it’s a shoot day, I’m up at the crack of dawn and hopping a courtesy shuttle to somewhere and eating a delicious craft services breakfast. If it’s a rehearsal day, I pack my backpack full of office supplies and spend the day with the cast rehearsing and prepping. If it’s a performance day, I hit the gym in the morning to build energy and then hit the ground running for the play. The appeal for me in this job is that every day is different.

  • How can you describe the difference between acting for stage and acting for TV? How do you prepare for each? Do you have a preference?

TV acting and stage acting are comparable to musical theatre and opera, or modern dance and ballet. I learned stage acting first, with a live audience, so that informs my acting in all other mediums. And I feel that acting on the stage before you act on screen is beneficial, because there is a learned focus to maintaining a reality onstage that I’ve found invaluable to film work. On a set, so many people are whirling around you, adjusting lights, powdering, that when they finally call action it’s like the starter pistol going off in an Olympic race. With a theatrical background, you’re much more prepared to leap right into a character and ignore the countless distracting factors whirling about you.

I love both mediums equally. I love the reality of film work, the precise nature of acting for the camera, but I also love the energy of a live audience.

 

  • Who do you look to for inspiration? Who were your mentors? Do you still stay in touch with them?

I was lucky to have many talented and inspiring teachers. Timothy Locker single-handedly ran my high school drama program, and without him I wouldn’t be here. Karen Libman, Ian Borden and Roger Ellis were probably my most influential college professors, and in terms of idols in the professional world, I adore Gary Oldman, Woody Harrelson, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Tom Hanks.

  • Think back to all of the people you’ve worked with throughout your life. Who are the most memorable? Which actors helped you elevate your craft? Which directors were incredible visionaries? Which were just nice people?

I’ve had so many amazing experiences with talented people that it’s difficult to single everyone out. In terms of talented theatrical directors who really pushed me to expand outside my comfort zone and take risks, I have to highlight Karen Libman, Ian Borden, Claire Shannon Kelly, Christopher V. Edwards, and Sean Hagerty.

  • When and why did you begin writing plays?

I’ve always love to write stories and was a creative writing minor in college. It was only natural, then, for me to gravitate towards the perfect pairing of my two main interests, acting and writing.

So many plays written today are too clever, too symbolic, too obsessed with selling a singular message. I love shades of grey, multiple interpretations and subtext to facilitate a discussion rather then drive it exactly where you intend.  

  • How many have been produced? Where?

I’ve had quite a few of my play produced across the country. Particular favorite performances include “Wet Glue” at the Richmond Shepard Theatre in NYC and “Pound” at Stage Door Productions in Fredericksburg, VA and Durango, CO.

  • What is your personal definition of “making it”? How does one know if it’s been achieved?

“Making it,” is working. You are a business. How would you describe success in business? Profits are up, costs are down. Acting is the same. Making it means making a sustainable wage as a freelancer.

  • What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Move. Don’t wait. If you want to be an actor, and you don’t live in a place with professional acting opportunities, you must move ASAP.

  • What advice can you give to people who want to act (or write, or direct, or produce) for a living?

Do it. Move someplace where it’s possible. But stabilize your life first. No one is a good actor when they’re worried about what’s for dinner.

  • What advice can you give to people who want to become better actors (or playwrights, or directors, or producers), but not necessarily do it for a living?

Write truth. Act truth. We’re surrounded by it all day. Listen, record, and write.

  • What do you do in your spare time? (Theater related, or not)

I love animals, so I volunteer at the Brooklyn Animal Shelter

  • What are some of your favorite credits?

Hard to choose favorites. Anything against type is always amazing.

  • What are you working on next?

I’m taping an episode of “A Crime to Remember” at the end of the month, then onto Drunk Shakespeare Off-Broadway and the Adirondack Shakespeare Festival upstate.

  • Where can people find you?

Please follow me on Twitter at @scottymwatson